I have tried for so long To keep my secrets, secret Why are you trying to ruin that? You don't know me Like you think you do I may not have all the answers But, sweetie, you ain't even close Every time I put in the effort I get blamed like I did something When it's really all your fault Or maybe it's just that we Should have never entertained that thought We are not good together Maybe it was never meant to be Or am I wrong about this too It's time for you to step up Or back down, all the way down Because this lukewarm water Has become unbearable uncomfortable You decide
It still hurts to think about how things used to be.
I really feel like I am ready for a serious relationship, now I just need to find the right man
I like words. a lot. I wish I had a more extensive vocabulary.
I love making new friends, because usually it results from awkward situations.
I have so many secrets. But sometimes I say too much.
I am pretty easy going, BUT if you really irritate me it could be bad news.
I have a secret fear that after college there is nothing left for me.
I know that that is not true.
Sometimes I think it is absolutely ridiculous how much I wish I was in a relationship headed towards marriage right now.
I feel trapped inside my own head
I am working on being more outgoing, and just being myself around people.
I want to be everything you want in a girl.
I can't help but believe that you truly are the one for me.
Late night talks with shannon are the best.
If I didn't have texting I think I would be lost.
There is a part of me that really wants to teach sex education in a school.
The reason being that I love talking about sex, and learning more about sex. Also, I think that kids are not being taught appropriately on this subject.
I don't regret a single decision I have made in my life--even if it goes against everything I was taught. You have to learn from what you do, and make choices on your own :)
I think I am a stronger person now because of the people who have doubted me in the past.
I am beginning to not really care what people think of me and the choices I make. It's my life!
I know what it is I want to do with my life, I however have no idea where I want to live.
I apologize if you learn something about me in this note you don't like.
I really would like to go back to India as soon as possible.
I am grateful for my parents and am so glad I had them to raise me.
The most therapeutic thing for me to do is dance around my room and sing as if I was famous.
My goal for this year is to become more comfortable with myself and actually perform at an open mic night.
I am 22 and have never been on an actual date, this kind of worries me.
I only really remember bits and pieces of my childhood, i wish i could remember more.
I really want to be a mom, I have always loved kids and wanted some of my own. I also think I have pretty good maternal instincts and that I will be a good mom.
I find it really hard to let go of someone that i was once very close to, but I have to believe it is their loss and i am better off without them in my life anyway.
We were destined to find each other Supposed to be star-crossed lovers But instead we got caught in the shallow end Of being nothing more than friends Fate was unable to win against you You would be a sore loser Maybe one day You will finally come to realize That where you think you've won You have only really just lost You are the loser in this game of fate How does that taste in your mouth Is it bitter, sour, sweet I want it to be bitter Eat all your words, that's all I ask Hate me the same way I've loved you Or love me the way I've hated you Does it even matter anymore You won your little game Now, go claim your perfect trophy Every day you look at it you'll know That is the only thing you have left The only piece of me You will ever be able to gaze upon How does that taste in your mouth Is it bitter, sour, sweet I want it to be bitter Hate me the same way I've loved you.
So, tonight I started putting a lot of thought into what it means to truly live for God. These song lyrics were stuck in my head "Heal my heart and make it clean, Open up my eyes to the things unseen, Show me how to love like You have loved me, Break my heart for heart for what breaks Yours, Everything I am for your kingdoms cause...". It says Everything I am, Everything. What does that mean? That almost seems impossible, but I can't help but think that should be the easiest thing for us. These lyrics are my heart's cry to God but yet I daily feel like I fall short of this. Do I live everyday and give God my everything, every thought, every action..do they glorify Him? I honestly wish I could say yes, but wouldn't that be a lie. I want everything that I am, every piece of me to be used for His will, not my own. I want to see the unseen things. I want to have the love that He has. Pure, unconditional love. Wouldn't that be great to be able to say that I love everyone no matter what. Hopefully, one day I will be able to say that. The hardest thing to pray in all of those lyrics is "Break my heart for what breaks Yours". I must say, compassion is not easy. You will find yourself crying at the most inopportune times, and wishing you weren't. It's not something you can change. BUT compassion is also great. You can have new perspectives on life and people tend to want to be around compassionate people more. :)
So basicially, I wrote all of that to say this. It is worth it to live your life and be everything for God, it's just not easy. And I am learning exactly what "everything" means :)
There once was a time When I thought you cared Then your own personal Delilah Stepped in and exposed your lies Friendship means nothing to you You are selfish and cruel Out to satisfy your own needs What kind of person does that An egotistical jerk, that's who You used to tell me "who I am" But still made me feel stupid I've learned something now You don't even know me You never really did And trust me when I say this You will never get the chance again I am OFFICIALLY done!
I have had a lot of thoughts on my mind lately...mainly the thought of my singleness. I am beginning to think I am just "too perfect". Okay so that may not be true, but I definitely would love to believe it. I try to pretend like this doesn't bother me, like I am not constantly looking for "The one" or wondering if he even exists. As I look at the other couples who surround me I start to feel rejected, lonely, and confused. And trust me those aren't exactly feelings anyone WANTS to feel. I know that there is a guy out there and I am not looking for anyone to tell me this. I don't need to hear that, it just makes things worse.
Another thought on my mind is what am I going to do with the rest of my life. It seemed so easy like 4 years ago as I was preparing to graduate. Now I have no idea. As I have 4 years of college almost complete. However, I hear that a lot of people tend to feel this way, doesn't really make it easier.
I pray that life starts to come together for me. And that my confusion disappears but for now all I can hope for is the support of my friends and just enjoying my life with them!
If you read this more power to you! Please don't leave "uplifting" comments. I don't want them. I don't need them. I am perfectly fine without them!
